Worn out already, forgot how this feels.

Ryan took it easy on me Thursday night. Was pretty good. Friday he was in such an awesome mood. Didn't fight me on eating or anything. Just a great kid like normal.
Well last night he made up for it. He woke up at 3:30 or so. He would pass out for about a minute. Enough for me to go "thank god." and relax. Then he would wake up crying and we would start all over again.
About 5am I had enough. I put him in his crib and went to pee. Neil was sleeping on the futon. Ryan was chatting it up in his crib till about 5:40 or so and he started to cry. I woke Neil up and told him it was his turn. I was just burnt out by now. He slept till about 6:40. Neil got up to get him and I said 'F that put him in bed with us, I am not getting up yet.'
Ryan slept in our bed till 8:30am. I am so beat right now, and in a nasty mood.


Back is killing me, along with my neck and shoulders. I am mad at Neil cause he got to get sleep till 5am while I was up with the baby, like always. Then since its his day to sleep in he slept till 11am while I did dishes, cleaned up his clothing he left everywhere, feed Ryan, started laundry, vacuumed, cleaned the table in the living room for Ryan to walk around, played with Ryan, put clothing alway... and then put Ryan down for a nap.
I dont think it helps its been gray and shitty for 4 days now either. 


Needless to say I am really looking forward to Zumba Sunday morning and some mommy downtime. Its really the only thing helping me keep sane right now. (in my currant state of mind.)
I need to just suck it up, be the mom and re-center myself.


Its NOT Neils fault Ryan has these HUGE ass teeth coming in, I am tired & sore and the house always needs to be cleaned. He is amazing father and is allowed to get tired and sleep too. He does work all week and can't nap. Its also not his fault I was a dumb ass and didn't nap the past few days and have been staying up late watching Mad Men.


Speaking of which Ryan is napping now I am going to lay down even if its just laying down in bed for 10 min.

BAH!