Response to Emily and other topics/ramblings.

My buddy Emily has a new blog. (newish mom!)
 She wrote this post and I was writing a reply and then realized my reply was longer then her post. Figured I would just post in my blog since its been way too long.
http://minkflamingos.com/2012/10/20/im-in-your-relationship-dropping-bombs


Wonderful post. And all very very true. As you (most of you) know Ryan was a breast feed baby. I was very adamant about that, we both were. So those first few days are so hard. Then the first few weeks. Neil would work all day, come home and help me, and then make us dinner and even feed me while I tried to feed Ryan. It's really about a united front, still is and I think always will be.

Couples that are on the verge of splitting and have a baby really confuse the shit out of me. Really?! You think having a completely dependent being is going to keep you together. BULLSHIT. When neither of you get sleep for 3 weeks and you find yourself arguing over who got more sleep last night that is the reality of having a kid.
"I was up at 1am feeding the baby and you were snoring, I remember, I put it in my iPhone app. It was so annoying and hard to not kill you."
"Really because I was up at 1:15 when Ryan cried and you were sleeping away and you were farting in your sleep." Then I would pull out my iPhone and open my "what to expect" app and show him exactly when I feed ryan, on what boob and when he went back to sleep.
Yes I was a freak those first few months. No surprise there.

You get shit on, literally, barfed on, sore nipples, blisters, not wanting to eat, not being able to eat enough, zombie like brain function, pissed you ran out of wipes and it's just when the kid took a huge dump and it's everywhere, mad you are home with the baby and hubby gets to escape to work, mad the wife gets to nap during the day, try to keep the house somewhat cleanish, make sure you are feed too, oh is that barf on your shirt? Well it's just one or two spots so it's clean enough, wash your hair every 3 days because you rather try to sleep... and so on. All the while bleeding, healing stitches and dealing with crazy hormones. (not to mention being aware you are crazy and feeling guilt over that.)

One thing I should mention, my son is 18 months old. (1 1/2 to you non-parents). And it's AWESOME. Yes we have a whole new bundle of issues, you always will. (NO HITTING RYAN!) But it's so awesome when he says "whatisthat mama?" (always wanting to learn) or when I get him from day care and he comes RUNNING when he sees me. The hugs, the dancing together, colouring on a piece of paper, him stealing all my food and I don't give a crap cause he is eating, laughing and then him laughing at me laughing and back and forth, running in circles cause is fun, hide and seek, tickling each other... it's amazing. Nothing like it in the world. I can not express completely how it makes you feel.

One thing to take away from this is; always ask how the dad is doing. No one ever asks the father "Hey man, how you holding up?" It's hard when a baby is breast feed and the dad can't really help they just see the mom going crazy (what happened to my wife?!). It's hard when you are up all night with a kid and then have to work and then come home to watch the kid (you can't feed) so your wife can nap or shower or just take a poop. Then said baby screams at you cause YOU do not have boobs and they just want mom and you just want everyone to be happy and to sleep. Dads are always under-appreciated.

When I was in labor I remembered hearing that, no one every worries about the husband/male. I did. I asked Neil how he was doing. I knew it was exciting/stressful/joyous/worried time for him. Being that Ryan was not our first birth I knew he was a little worried. We knew what was at risk. Watching the heart rate on the baby drop so low he was worried, seeing the crash cart and the always slight risk he might lose me, maybe both of us, I knew my husband was worried. The feeling of helplessness. Nothing he could do but stand by my side, hold my leg up and NOT LOOK DOWN THERE. Smile at me and tell me it was going to be alright. I had to ask if he was okay. I remember him laughing, the nurse and doctor being shocked I was worried about him. Why wouldn't I be? He is my best friend and this was something we were embarking on together.


Hmmmmm looks like two glasses of German wine makes me chatty and full of nostalgia. Chalk it up to wine, turning 35 next month and wine.
Oh I already said wine.

heh.

In unrelated news. I took my Canadian Citizenship test Friday. I am pretty sure I missed three questions. One I know for sure I missed. Oh well I can miss up to five and still pass. I should get a letter in 3-5 months. I will keep my US so I will be dual citizenship. Very exciting.
A HUGE step in securing my family since my husband is Canadian and my son is Canadian born.

Balloon?

Today Nhi (coworker) went to the Dollar store. I gave her a few bucks to pick me up a balloon for Ryan.
(mylar not latex).
It was waiting in the car for him today after his school (daycare).
Holy hell I love how excited this kid gets over balloons. On the way home we hit Old Navy so Neil and I could get some clothing for running this weekend in the Run for Your Lives Toronto Zombie Run. He was such a good kid. He walked to the store (holding my hand) and walked around the store with me for a bit. Neil took over while I was trying on stuff and then I took over while Neil tried on his stuff. He was just super good.
We had dinner together when we got home and while I was cleaning up Neil and Ryan chilled and watched some stuff on the iPad together for a few min. Then bath and then Gabi came to visit for a bit.
Ryan is just so much fun to be with when he is feeling good.

Makes my day when we pick him up from school and you just see his face LIGHT up when he sees us. He comes running for a hug. Doesn't matter right now who is there to hug him, Neil or me. He is just excited to see us. I love it. It makes all the stress and worry from the day melt in that moment when he is running and then when he squeezes your neck in a hug and starts his 'talking' you forget all the stupid things that happened that day. All that matters is the kid in your arms trying to tell you about his day with that happy/excited tone of voice.

I love my life.

Oh wow

All of August went by without me posting.
Wow.

I need to remember that the reason I started this blog was to remember stuff. To remember all the silly things you forget as your child grows... or as you get less and less sleep.

We just got done with a wave of sickness. A scary one this time. Ry started off with a fever at school last Monday. A slight one, not even enough for them to call us.
When we got home he had gotten pretty warm. We took his temp and it was 102.5 (there abouts).
Gave him some Tylenol and a bath and off to bed. Around midnight be woke-up crying. Took his temp and it was in the 104's. And not the low 104's.
Neil grabbed him and was giving him cool water while I called Tellahealth. Long and short of it was worry when the fever is in the 104, if it gets to 105 go to the hospital ASAP. 108 is when long term damage can happen.
Scary stuff.

He had the runny poops since Saturday (we thought it was because he was teething since he didn't want to eat much either and was fussy)
Tuesday Neil was home with him and took him to a kids walkin. They told us to come back Wend if he still had a fever for blood work.
Wend came and he was still feverish. If we didn't give him medication to keep it down it would spike up close to the 105 mark. I took him tot he after hours walk in at the hospital since the one Neil went to tuesday sucks. They said if he still had a fever to bring him back Thursday. Clean ears, nose, throat and chest so no worries there and he was drinking like crazy just NOT eating.
So thursday came and we didn't like how high his fever still was so we went to the hospital.

Now all this time he will go to sleep on his own and then wake up around 1-2 with a fever crying so we would put him in bed with us. We got smart and we just dosed him around 1am while he was sleeping before the fever hit. Thursday morning though it came back pretty strong.
So after waiting and tests we found out they think it was a Viral tummy bug. Guess it was going around.
After a catheter to get a pee sample, a swab in his throat to test for strep and a thermometer in his butt we found out nothing we could do but medicate him and try to keep him hydrated. Poor kid
Friday he was with Gabi while Neil and I went to work. Medication given every 4-5 hours to keep his temp down. Gabi was a little late on a dose cause Ryan was getting some much needed sleep and his fever spiked back up.
By Saturday fever was gone and he was in the mood to eat a little. Has some bad gas and poop that night but no fever. By Sunday almost back to normal.

By Monday he was back to being our awesome little guy.

He is 17 Months old as of this past Monday.
He is talking all the time, most of the time we dont understand what he is saying. He is STILL obsessed with balloons. Just yesterday I asked if he wanted more yogurt and he opens his mouth and points to it.
YES BUDDY! FOOD!
COMUNICATE with us!

I could care less how he lets us know he wants food or drink just as long as he starts letting us know before he goes into a rage.

Fast one

Man this blog has been hurting since i have started back to work and since Ryan has become so mobile.
He hit 15 months last week. He also had a wicked sickness called Hand Foot and Mouth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand,_foot_and_mouth_disease
It was a nightmare. Scared the shit out of us. Fever, not wanting to eat, crying, not sleeping, super itchy feet for a few days, they started to crack really really bad and were pretty much open sores. Within 12 hours he went from almost no signs of being sick to me wanting to take him to the hospital. (hurray for Tellahealth).
Yeah. Not fun.
He is much beter now. His feet are still pealing a little and healing. He has dots on his feet, hands and back of his leg still. Not on his face anymore which is good.


So 15 months... He is sort of talking. Says Ball, Blue, Bottle, Mom, Dad, NO (and shakes his head), Poop, Drink, ThankYou and a few other words. Some are hard to understand some are clear as a bell. Ball is really good. And bottle/drink. I am pretty sure he is trying to say water. He says Bat. I am trying to teach him batman.
He loves to hold your hand and walk with you. We walk together every morning and every evening to the car/house. He is so good about it. Will stand in the elevator waiting till the door opens. It's pretty cute.
He also LOVES to tickle. I will lay on the floor and he will pull up my shirt to get my belly, all the while laughing like crazy. Its pretty funny. We also play fort with a blanket. He loves to be superman. I lay on the floor, hold his hands and he stands while I put my feet on his belly. I lay down and put him into the air while still holding his hands and he flys around above me. He loves it so much. And I love it to because my dad used to do this with me. 
Ryan also plays 'hide and go seek' with Neil. It's more a scare and run he does. Neil will jump out and scare him and Ryan will run away laughing like an insane person. Then turn around and chase Neil.
He plays fetch which is really handy in the morning during the week when we are trying to get ready for work. Neil just asks him to get the ball. Ryan brings it, Neil throws it and Ryan gets it and brings it back to Neil over and over. He brings me his shoes when I ask for them, and sometimes my shoes too. 


I really need to update about our DR trip, our first camping trip and this whole past month. time is flying.


Alas, happy mom is happy.

BooBoo

Ryan fell down last night pretty darn and he bent his finger nail back. Its purple!
Anyone that has done that knows it hurts like a mother lover. He was crying pretty hard so I was hugging him and giving him kisses on his thumb.
After I was done Neil told him to come to dad for hugs so he walks over to Neil still sort of crying a little and goes in for a nice long cuddle hug. So damn cute.

Poor little guy.
Not looking forward to the first time he falls down really bad and there is blood. (well he sort of already did that at school and cut above his eye). The teacher said he was super excited about milk and slipped.
Thats my 'fat kid' son. :D

So much

I have so much to write about!
This will be a short one since I am on my lunch break at work but hopefully I will go into more detail tonight.

So much has happened.
Ryan turned 14 months, we had an awesome fathers day weekend. Went camping for the first time (not so great at night) We had to leave around midnight, Ryan was coughing like crazy and couldn't sleep. Day Care Boogers strike again.
That was Saturday the 16th of June.

Monday the 18th - Monday the 25th we were in Punta Cana! We took an amazing trip just the three of us. So much fun.
More on that later as well.

Just two cool guys hanging out.

Update on Ryan. Still not talking so much. I am pretty sure he said 'Bottle' today and he does say mom and dad.

He is SUPER huggy and attached to us both right now. A little more to me. I have to calm down a lot of the time. I am a doer and I dont like just sitting I want to get up and go and get stuff done and I am trying to enjoy just sitting and playing with Ryan and reading a book together. Or even just cuddling. (which he did to me last week) I sat there with him for 10 min just cuddling. He wasn't ready to start his day and didn't give a crap that I was. He wanted to cuddle so that is what we did. On the floor in the living room. It was awesome.

Oh when he drops something he will point at it and go "utoh". And he will do it over and over until you pick it up for him. (if its a ball or something that he can not get too). Its pretty damn cute. He smiles like crazy! He has really got comfortable walking/running and climbing stairs. He needs help sometimes goes up or down and will hold his hands up for you to help him. He loves to be picked up and will come running to me with his arms up in the air going "UP" or at least it sort of sounds like up. He will also get his shoes and socks, bring them to you, sit down and wait for you to put them on. He liked to grab our shoes and try to put them on too. He does the same with shirts.
He got two molars while we were in Punta Cana. I think more are coming soon.

Every month is more fun then the month before. This kid is getting pretty kick-ass to be with.

Just so busy with home, work, kid and husband and to be honest the poor husband doesn't get as much time as he should. And tiny bit of time for me... and my Lego Batman game. :D

EDIT
Ryan is weened , his last feeding was Monday the 25th on the flight home. I am a little sad about this but we have other ways to bond now. He brings me books to read to him, we play hide and seek (sort of) and we have a lot of giggle fits together. Just another chapter in his life closed which means he is growing up.

You have to talk to your kids

Ryan has started to try to communicate with us now. I have to get a video of it. Its so damn funny.
There are also times when Ryan does something and I laugh and he will notice me laughing. Then he starts to laugh, then I laugh harder and then he laughs harder. We did this for almost 5 minutes the other night at bath time.
I blew a raspberry at him and he thought it was just the funniest thing in the world so he starts to giggle. I start giggling. We lean into each other just laughing and laughing. It was awesome. We were laughing so much Neil came in to hang out to see what was so funny.

This kid is so much fun right now. A lot more work in some regards (and less in others) but so just worth it.
When he was a tiny baby I marvelled at him and just the pure existence that was my son. Now I watch him and I am just swept over with this joy. He is his own person. He has thoughts and emotions and now he is trying to express them. This will include him pointing at something and asking with a question tone of voice "da dward?" whatever the hell that means. Or sometimes he will point with a demanding tone of voice at something (he wants it).
If he gets into something he shouldn't... lets just say he is walking around holding my iPhone, if I ask for it he will walk over to me and hand it over. Its nice. I know that will be short lived but at least he is polite for right now.

Here is a video Neil got this past Saturday of Ryan putting his stacker rings on his foot. He was cracking up like crazy (you see a little of this toward the end of the vid). He then came over and was putting them on my feet cracking up the whole time. Then Ryan and I both were tickling Neils feet. That was funny too. I love this point in his life. He is just such an awesome kid. Sleeping at night, starting to let us know what he wants, I love it. I do miss him being my little monkey but then he will do something like play hide and seek with me and I forget all about him being this tiny baby and enjoy him being my ever-growing son.

Enjoy.
Feet are so much fun!