Sunday, 29 January 2012

Ahhhhh much better

Sun is out and we are a happy family again.

(sold this from Neil's website)

I wonder where Ryan gets his bipolar-ness from... heh.

Yesterday we had a fun night with the Doiron clan (Chris, Tara & Sloane) and the Wilsons (Dan and Vee). Neil got some photos so hopefully he will share those soon. I think Ryan scared Sloane a little. Her mom and dad are pretty chill & quiet people so she is pretty quiet. Now Ryan... well his parents are very loud excited people (most of this is my fault) so he is a pretty loud kid. He likes to do this excited scream thing. Well Sloane sort of had this 'WTF is wrong with this kid, I am just going to go over here." look on her face that made me laugh. I hope Neil captured it on his camera. 
Oh man, I also  think Ry has a slight crush on Tara. He was just so happy in her arms. 

Here is a video of Ryan this morning while I was at Zumba.

We got home a little late last night but Ryan was still up (well he passed out in the car for about 10 min) he was sleeping by 9:30pm. Woke up at 11:30 crying and passed back out about 15 min later. He slept from then till 5:30am. We got almost 6 hours of solid sleep. I got him back into his crib at 6am. He woke up again at 6:30 this time screaming. Neil went and got him and tried his best till about 7 to get him to sleep.
I told Neil to put him in bed with me because when Ryan wakes up screaming he will have a BAD day. I got him back to sleep and he woke up again at 8am in a GREAT mood. Neil took him out of the room and I got up 30 min later to get ready for Zumba.
(This has lead me to the idea of making his bedtime a little later. I am going to try this theory tonight to see how it goes.)

We had some eggs and Ryan played with Neil while he got photos (and video) of Ry.

I come home to a husband on the computer fixing up photos and a baby sleeping in his crib. I WAS going to get McD's for Neil but I made him a nice healthy sandwich instead as a thank you for being awesome.

And after dealing with my bitch-ness yesterday he is awesome. 

Saturday, 28 January 2012

Worn out already, forgot how this feels.

Ryan took it easy on me Thursday night. Was pretty good. Friday he was in such an awesome mood. Didn't fight me on eating or anything. Just a great kid like normal.
Well last night he made up for it. He woke up at 3:30 or so. He would pass out for about a minute. Enough for me to go "thank god." and relax. Then he would wake up crying and we would start all over again.
About 5am I had enough. I put him in his crib and went to pee. Neil was sleeping on the futon. Ryan was chatting it up in his crib till about 5:40 or so and he started to cry. I woke Neil up and told him it was his turn. I was just burnt out by now. He slept till about 6:40. Neil got up to get him and I said 'F that put him in bed with us, I am not getting up yet.'
Ryan slept in our bed till 8:30am. I am so beat right now, and in a nasty mood.

Back is killing me, along with my neck and shoulders. I am mad at Neil cause he got to get sleep till 5am while I was up with the baby, like always. Then since its his day to sleep in he slept till 11am while I did dishes, cleaned up his clothing he left everywhere, feed Ryan, started laundry, vacuumed, cleaned the table in the living room for Ryan to walk around, played with Ryan, put clothing alway... and then put Ryan down for a nap.
I dont think it helps its been gray and shitty for 4 days now either. 

Needless to say I am really looking forward to Zumba Sunday morning and some mommy downtime. Its really the only thing helping me keep sane right now. (in my currant state of mind.)
I need to just suck it up, be the mom and re-center myself.

Its NOT Neils fault Ryan has these HUGE ass teeth coming in, I am tired & sore and the house always needs to be cleaned. He is amazing father and is allowed to get tired and sleep too. He does work all week and can't nap. Its also not his fault I was a dumb ass and didn't nap the past few days and have been staying up late watching Mad Men.

Speaking of which Ryan is napping now I am going to lay down even if its just laying down in bed for 10 min.


Thursday, 26 January 2012

Skiing and Doctor Update

Neil and I went Skiing last Saturday for the first time. Ill update more on it later. Pressed for time right now.
Ryan saw the doctor today for a check up.
He is 25.6lbs and 76cm (29.9in). Big baby is HUGE. Doctor also told me to stop breastfeeding him at night. To transition to water at night.
Plan is starting tonight no more big bed for Ryan. We put him in bed with us around 4am. So this week we break that habit. Next week start on the no more breastfeeding in the middle of the night. Doc said Ryan should be sleeping through the night now and its not good for him to have breast milk in the middle of the night because of his teeth.
I knew this time would come but its gonna suck so hard. Thankfully he breastfeeds now and then I hum or sing him to sleep so I just have to leave out the breastfeeding in the middle of the night. 21 days to form a habit. 
I know in the long run this is a good thing since I am going back to work in April but still. I hate not sleeping. I shot myself in the foot putting him in bed with us and bfing to sleep. Stupid Mary! Oh well.

Saturday, 14 January 2012

Bed/play time in the morning

Ryan came into our bed at 630 this morning. I wanted to sleep some more and that is the fastest way for me to get some more sleep. A bad habit I know but eh. I like to sleep darn it.

Neil fell asleep on the futon last night so Ryan and I had a king size bed to ourselves this morning!
Here are some photos from the fun we had.

Close Up (this is what I see a lot of the time)

This is his "ohhhhh iPhone" face before he lunges for it.

 Hi mom Im gonna rest my big head for a minute

This is him blowing raspberries on my arm!
 It tickles but I guess its fair since Neil and I do this to Ryan A LOT.

Friday, 13 January 2012

Snow walk

Ryan and I enjoyed our first snow walk today. I waited till the snow stopped and the side walk plow came out but holy cats it was cold! He loved it.

Walk was about 15 min. We didn't go any farther cause the side walk snow plow was stuck so...

We turned around and Ryan watched while I shovelled the drive way.

I am shocked my little dude is almost 9 months old. He has had a rough night last night poor kid. Farting ever few minutes. He is just eating SO MUCH.
More food please.

 Non-stop eating and he wants to eat everything we are eating which is cute. I hope he stays this way but I love that he eats anything. Though those kiwi I had were a little too sour for him. haha
This is more for me for in the future and I am re-reading these posts:
He eats about four ice cubes of homemade food (chicken soup or broccoli chicken mix) and then will have two ice cubes of fruit mixed with yogurt. And then some bread or cheese for him to feed himself. Then he will try to eat mine or Neils dinner! Little bottomless pit.
Breakfast is four/five scoops of oat cereal, five scoops of prunes and two big spoons of plain yogurt. I have also been giving him tea. Chamomile or Fennel. The fennel tea is awesome for helping with the gas pains. Thank you Gabi for that tip!

Anyway on to cute stuff. He is chewing the crap out of everything right now. And if nothing is around for him to chew he will chew his own hand!

Ryan also has a fun time shopping with Neil and I. 
Neil kept putting his hat on Ryan, it was super cute. 
He also is talking a lot right now. Started a few days ago. More then just babbles. Neil was sort of shocked by it. He has been working late the past few nights and not really had much time around Ryan. Well with the exception of last night since he was the one that was trying to get him to sleep. With the inflections of his voice is really sounds like he is trying to talk. He also likes to sing along with you when you sing or hum songs. Today we were all in our bed and I was rubbing Neil leg and he was going "mmmm" and Ryan would go "mmmm" right back at him. They kept going back and forth. He loves to mimic. LOVES IT. He will also dance to music.

Oh poor kid fell down so bad this morning right on a toy. He screamed so loud even after I picked him up. I walked him around and hugged him and told him it sucks when we fall but its important to always get back up. He took that to heart and started to walk around again (holding on to stuff). 
Made me sad though tonight changing his diaper I saw the bruise from the fall this morning. Poor kid.
This afternoon he fell and hit his head on the wood floor. Sucks but I am happy it wasn't on the tile. The small 4" of tile we don't have covered in foam flooring. I am fixing that Saturday. More foam flooring because all Ryan does besides play (and eat everything) is try to walk. He will use anything he can to get up and then forgets he has to hold on still and falls. Something tells me we have many falls and bruises ahead in our future.

He has places to be people.

Places to BE.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Apples Apples we all fall down

I was a little pressed for time today since I spent it making a sudo soup for Ryan and not lunch for me... so I had an apple for lunch today.
And wouldn't you know it, Ryan wanted some of my apple.

I made him such a nice 'soup' with carrots, sweet potato, green peppers, green beans, celery, onion, little olive oil and chicken (cut up). Oh and some pasta. Its super easy. You throw in all in a pot and make the baby pasta on its own. Once the pot mix is cooked enough (chicken is cooked) you blend it up and then mix in the pasta. He loves it and it gets all his veggies in him.

Once again I am forgetting the point I am trying to make.
Ryan is teething, he is getting a top tooth. Big news in the Bank house. So I thought he might like to chew on a nice cold apple slice. They are a little sour but I was right, he loved it!

So happy. He even got to hold it on his own like a big boy.
*side note* It was a thick cut slice so he would not chew through it, and I never took my eye off him while he had it. Yes I took the CPR class but I don't want to ever have to use that information!
Look Ma! I'm a big boy!

I was bored and feeling a little mean so I took the apple away from him. Holy crap. It was WW3 in our house and Ryan screaming was the Biological Weapon. He went full blown postal on me. It was hilarious. 
I gave it back to him for a while. I flipped it around and let him chew on it for about 20 min. I figure he had enough and was time to brush his teeth and get ready for Grandma to come over.

I was wrong. He cried big ol tears. It was really cute. I am such a mean mom.

Once I took him out of the chair he forgot why he was so upset.

I think we shall have an apple again for lunch tomorrow.

Also last night he woke up around 10pm. Neil got him and brought him to the living room (futon) with us. We were watching Top Gear until Ryan noticed I was eat a yogurt and then he kamanzaked me to get it. Neil and I also enjoyed some cheese and crackers so Ryan got to eat some cheese too. Lucky kid had an awesome night. I think this kid will eat us out of house and home when he is older. Maybe we should start a savings account for that.

One more... around 6am Roag came into the bed looking for some love. I gave him some and then pushed him away trying to get more sleep. I watched Roag go over to Neil for love and Neil rolled away from him. Ryan was in bed with us (I dont even remember how he got in there) and I watched Roag go over to Ryan... he was rubbing and licking Ryan's head. Ryan pushed him away.

Poor Roag. No one wanted to give him love. I curled up with him for a bit, poor kitty.

Sunday, 8 January 2012

Enigma my little kitty girl...

We lost you today. I knew it was a matter of time and I didn't want to face it.

Enigma I love you.
She fell into my life after we lost Andrew and I didn't even really want her. I just took her as a favor to Jenn. She were such a brat. She bite and screamed and hated Neil, Ogar and me. Then she started to like my petting, my love and my cuddles. She would fight Ogar for my time and warmth.

Enigma and Ogar curled up in bed.

After we lost Ogar her and I became even closer. She got depressed so we got her a new brother. But still Enigma stuck by my side. Even if Roag made it hard on her sometimes.

Enigma loved to curl up with me and we kept each other warm.
 Roag wanted to see what it was about so he sat on us both.

Little lap girl.

When we were going through everything (testing) with Abbey Enigma would spend all her time with me. Curl up on the futon, floor, bed... anywhere. She just wouldn't let me be alone and it was what I needed. Something I could pet, hold and cuddle. After we lost Abbey I really got attached to Engima and I would hold her even more. She let me. It was like she knew I needed something to give my love to and she was there for me.

Mmmmmm sun

She has been a little sick for a while. But she was still eating like crazy, drinking water, playing, complaining, going potty and just being herself. She would just get sick sometimes. The past few months its been more and more. 
Kitty girl sleeps on dad too!

Last night Enigma got so sick (so much vomit). We found it about 430am. We found her and she was very still. I put her on the futon and we cleaned up the mess. Around 630 we tried to get her to eat a cookie (treat) and some water. She wanted nothing. She started to digress. We got to the vet today at 1 and found out she had a blockage (he thinks it was poo but couldn't be sure without some tests.) She also had a fever and a heart murmur. After weighing out options and talking with the vet about tests, treatments and her age and history we made the call.

We said good bye to our little pointed butt, lemon face, pain in the butt kitty girl around 2pm. She looked at me as she slipped into her final sleep. I take comfort in knowing she heard Neil and I telling her we loved her and saw my face knowing she would be okay. No pain.
Playing with ropes is fun!

I miss her already. I will miss her eating flour and getting into everything. I will miss her crying at me first thing in the morning until I give her food. I will miss her almost dancing with excitement when I get wet food ready for her. I will miss her biting my feet at night when I move in the bed or her bitchy 'meow' when I dare to move at all while she is sleeping on/near me.

She was a brat and a princess and I loved her a hell of a lot.

My video game companion.

Saturday, 7 January 2012

Breastfeeding (revisited) and a new tooth

I just got Ryan down for a nap by humming to him and holding him. This is a huge deal for me. I always get him to nap by breastfeeding him. I did start that way then I put the boob away while he was awake and just hummed. He fussed a little, tried to get at the boob and tried to sit up but I stuck with it.

I think it helps that this is how Neil and Gabi (grandma) get him to sleep (humming) so it was not new to him. I also will do this at night sometimes. Trying to break him wanting to feed himself to sleep at night as well. That was more for when I go back to work in April then about the tooth though.

I digress. Before I had Ryan I wanted to BF (breastfeed) him for about 3-6 months. I said when the first tooth came out I was done. Then it was no more then 6 months cause he is getting too big to hold. Then I said I would never feed him past a year cause that was pointless.
Now that I have had him for a while I enjoy feeding him and I will really miss that bond when its gone. I know we will have other things to bond us as he gets older but I love our time together. I am his mother and I love feeding my baby. Even more now that its not every hour of him wanting to eat. Man that wore me out and make me scared to go out in public. It is nice we can go out for a few hours with him as long as I bring a yogurt or fruit for him to snack on.

I do think bfing a 2 year old is a little odd but thats my choice to make. And who am I to judge? I don't want people to judge me. I use my boob to get the kid to sleep at night when I am tired and I know it will shut him up. I might do that past him being a year old. I don't know what the future holds. I know right now I feed him about 3x during the day and at night a few times whenever he wakes depending on how awake he is.

Also I just want to put it out there that its a myth formula feed kids sleep longer. They dont. Some babies sleep more then others. Sucky thing for me is our son takes after Neil not me. He doesn't want to sleep. He wants to play, he doesn't want to miss anything. He will be past the point of tired and into purple bags under the eyes and still want to play. I was really hoping he would take after me and want to sleep when tired. Though he is getting better at nap times. Also I am proud we didn't have to give him formula for long. That we tossed two containers of it. I am proud I stuck with something that was very hard and I feel better that I did. It was really hard to do it and I have a history of when something is hard I give in. I also have a history of when something is hard I want to do it even more, depending on what mood you catch me. I am not writing this to insult anyone but its my blog and sometimes it is just about me. (Please dont feel bad if you were not able to breastfeed, there are a lot of reasons. Maybe you had a biter or flat nipples or not enough milk. Providing is providing no matter now or what!)

I used to tease friends about the kids schedule. 'Ohhhh I cant go out it will mess up our kids schedule.'
 I used to say what bullshit. Now I understand. Oh yes. Christmas week was a huge eye opener for me. Yeah we can go out now and then with the kid no problem. However messing it up day after day after night really took its toll. And when he was getting sick and cutting a tooth. That was just stupid. Some nights/days he was fine and others it got downright ugly. Kids do work better with a schedule!

So Ryan is cutting an upper tooth on the left side. I can't get a picture of it cause he doesn't like me looking at it. I will try to get one after it pops out. He is handling it MUCH better then the first round of teeth. Man that was a nightmare.

EDIT Feb 10, 2012.
No its a nightmare now. Such a silly woman. Cutting teeth sucks balls. It will always suck balls. Just deal with it, understand the next month or two after you first notice that tooth will suck and move on with your life.
Teething hurts, teeth punching out of the gums hurt more and at night when there is nothing to play with or distract the baby it really sucks.

So tired...


Sunday, 1 January 2012

New Year and resolutions

 I hope 2012 is as amazing as 2011 was. I hope Ryan continues to grow and thrive and be a smarty pants. I hope my family stays/gets healthy.

 Last night was a blast. Fondue with Neil, Joe, Angela and Ted. Was pretty wicked and funny. Played a new game too which was a blast. Loaded Questions was the name of the game. We had A LOT of laughs. I highly recommend it.
 Thank you to Christina for convincing us to have oil fondue. I think it was the most popular and these cheese things she told us about are TO DIE FOR. I think Ang and I alone ate half the box.
Zucchini was pretty good too.

So on to my new years resolutions...
This new year I will
1. Stop Cussing
       I am doing this with Neil. We have jars set up already and everything.(Neil already put 50 cents in)

2. Loose 3-4 lbs a month 
       I will do this by eating healthy again (almost no breads and no more glass of wine at night) and working out 3x a week (right now its 2x, I am starting this in Feb)
3. Focus on being a great/creative mom and wife. 
     # 1 & 2 play into that as well, getting healthy so I can keep up with Ryan

Speaking of which I need to eat my breakfast, dry my hair and go pick up the kid. Gabi said her and Sandor had a great night with Ryan (and day) which I am very happy to hear. They are awesome grandparents. So happy they are so close to us (a block away).

I am a tiny bit sad I didn't have Ryan to hold for new year but happy we all had a much needed break to. Its nice to have a quiet morning (haven't had one of these since September) but I miss my little man and I cant wait to see his big smile.