Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Rough Day

Yesterday was a really rough day.
Monday we had the tongue tie fixed and Neil thinks maybe due to pain is why Tuesday was so rough. Ryan just would not sleep more then 20 min and he just wanted to feed the whole time. I was so worn out when Neil got home (after making dinner) he took over for me. I finally got a shower and went to bed. I got a good hour and a half sleep and Neil brought Ryan in for bedtime. Neil figured it out. He just wanted to suckle. So he gave him the pacifier and Ryan was happy after that. (after eating almost two bottles in two hours!)
Ryan slept great last night, I slept great and Neil slept great. Feeling much better today.
I am keeping track of when I feed him and how long still and if after nursing steady for 20 min he passes out and then wakes when I move him I give him the pacifier for a little bit and he goes back to sleep.
He is sleeping now. So I should really take this time to eat something and try to get a nap too... in preparation for tonight.

I really need to give myself a break. I broke down last night cause I was so worn out. I really don't know what I would do without Neil here to help out in the evenings.
I think its just taxing sometimes. Nursing Ryan, trying to stay on top of the dishes, house, dirty clothing, making sure Ryan is okay, trying to get a shower, chasing after the cats... it can be a bit much at times when I am sleep deprived. And yesterday I just felt like a bad mom, like I couldn't sooth my son and figure out what's wrong. My brain gets to jello when I don't get sleep. Good thing Neil was there and figured it out and let me just step away from it and stop being so silly.

I really find myself looking forward to weekends cause during the week I don't really get to spend much time with Neil. Before we car pooled together, spent all night together, chatted, watched TV together... now I get a few hours and then its off to bed. I miss my husband. But weekends are so awesome. We chat, curl up together when Ryan is sleeping, its nice.
I am also looking forward to the moses basket not being in our bed. Right now the basket is in our bed between us cause its easier to scoop Ryan up when he is crying and pop him on my boob then to go to the crib. I figure maybe another month of him in our bed and then we will move him to the crib (which is in our room) but leave him in the basket a little longer. Make the move easier on him. It is very handy cause I hear every little sound Ryan makes and its nice to be able to just lift my head up, look at him, realize he is just snoring and go back to sleep myself. Better then getting up every time I hear a noise and checking him.
Also Ryan does that 'pause' breath Tara warned me about and it freaks the shit out of me. He will be breathing all noisy and heavy and then just STOP for a few breaths. So that makes me wake up and check him. 
It will be nice when we are past the three month scary part.

Off to eat and nap. Hopefully. :P

1 comment:

  1. Mary you are doing so wonderfully! I know it's overwhelming at first adjusting to the living hat rack way of life. Remember hew we talked about motherhood being all about wearing the different hats at once? The mom hat, the wife hat, the nurse hat, the housekeeper hat, etc. I'm just so proud of and happy for you!